Boiler Blues

Yesterday just as the weather turned cold, our heating packed in. Thankfully we have a British Gas contract and all it took was just a click on my phone and the engineer was booked for him to come same day. This poem was written whilst he was trying to sort it out...and no I didn’t read it to him!!

Boiler Blues

It’s f...f...f...freezing

With no sodding heating

Huddled together

In bloody cold weather

When temperatures get colder

Bang goes my boiler

Never a warning

Shut down this morning

My teeth are chattering

My wife is nattering

To get someone here to sort it 

“A gas man, preferably quite fit”

Waiting for him to arrive

We’re barely alive

A knock on the door

Don’t want to be cold anymore

He strides into the hall

With toolbox and all

“Cold weather today!”

“No shit Sherlock” I say

He comes in to investigate

Gives me the prognosis straight

“I think your valve is faulty”

“Would you like a cup of tea?”

“Yes milk and 2 sugars please”

“Please be quick it’s only 2 degrees”

No time later the man did his magic

Valve replaced averted a disaster quite tragic

Thank god we now have heat 

To feel my feet is such a treat!


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