Boiler Blues

-

Yesterday just as the weather turned cold, our heating packed in. Thankfully we have a British Gas contract and all it took was just a click on my phone and the engineer was booked for him to come same day. This poem was written whilst he was trying to sort it out...and no I didn’t read it to him!!

Boiler Blues

It’s f...f...f...freezing

With no sodding heating

Huddled together

In bloody cold weather

When temperatures get colder

Bang goes my boiler

Never a warning

Shut down this morning

My teeth are chattering

My wife is nattering

To get someone here to sort it 

“A gas man, preferably quite fit”

Waiting for him to arrive

We’re barely alive

A knock on the door

Don’t want to be cold anymore

He strides into the hall

With toolbox and all

“Cold weather today!”

“No shit Sherlock” I say

He comes in to investigate

Gives me the prognosis straight

“I think your valve is faulty”

“Would you like a cup of tea?”

“Yes milk and 2 sugars please”

“Please be quick it’s only 2 degrees”

No time later the man did his magic

Valve replaced averted a disaster quite tragic

Thank god we now have heat 

To feel my feet is such a treat!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Christmas Eve

-
Image
When I was a kid Christmas Eve seemed to be the longest day. I was so excited that the clock seemed to stop turning. It was the only night of the year I wanted to go to bed early so that Christmas Day would come sooner!  Today’s poem tries to capture the excitement of the night before Chrsitmas;  Christmas Eve Tick tock, tick tock The hands turned slowly Tick tock tick tock It was not that I was holy Tick tock tick tock Would Santa ever come Tick tock tick tock Be patient said my mum Tick tock tick tock Pillowcase put in place Tick tock tick tock A spare one just in case Tick tock tick tock A peek into the sky Tick tock tick tock Is he coming I do cry? Tick tock tick tock Time to go to bed Tick tock tick tock Cuddle up with ted Tick tock tick tock Too excited to sleep Tick tock tick tock One eye open to peep Tick tock tick tock Christmas can’t come too fast Tick tock tick tock Fast asleep at last Tick tock tick tock Dark still outside Tick tock tick tock Excitement cannot hide Tick toc
Read more

Shoes on the Bank of the Danube

-
Image
This poem was written after visiting the memorial in Budapest It was conceived by film director Can Togay, he created it on the east bank of the Danube River with sculptor Gyula Pauer to honour the people who were killed by fascist Arrow Cross militiamen in Budapest during World War II. (Wikipedia) 
Read more

Drivel

-
Image
It’s that twixtmas time again. Nothing much happening...so today I have just spent time playing with words and came up with this poem called Drivel.  Drivel This is a trifle trivial A poem not political Pretty petty, partly potty Lacking lucid language A bonkers brainstorm  Bordering on bollocks A frivolous frolic Meandering meaninglessly  Ebbing and flowing Perpetually pouring  Mind numbing nonsense Best before breakfast A bonanza of banal boredom Designed to drive you dotty Depending on your disposition  A frisson of fantasy Not meant for Auntie Hard of hearing Hattie Partly passing for prose More like a double dose  A death defying drivel This is crap official Stunningly superficial Bereft of anything beneficial Waiting, wanting the final whistle Wishing this pissing poem would end Fishing for a final full stop Stop, stop, stop This is a stinker Hook line and sinker!!
Read more