At The Next Left

I think the sat nav in my car is the worst yet. It takes me to places David Attenborough would be excited to visit, when a simple trip down the motorway would suffice. Does anyone else think fondly of when having the map upside down was the only issue?
At The Next Left
She’s there with me
Every step of the way
No guarantee
To get me there some day
She monitors my progress
She’s more than a women
A favourite song by Tavares
Blurting out from my radio that’s a given.
When all of a sudden
Without any notice
With touching no button
She aims to provoke us
By telling us our progress
That roadworks will delay us
She gives us an alternative
Which quite frankly
Is sometimes quite punitive
To try to get around the problem
It’s not that I don’t trust her
But that is the problem
It’s the blind faith that I follow her
Down farmyard tracks
And through fields
Where doing a u turns simply leads
To further frustration
No option for a conversation
To work out the best solution
She obsessively commands
Direction after direction
Never flustered always the same tone
Droning and moaning to take the next left
When I am bereft
Of any knowledge of where we are
Witlessly driving in my car
Into the unknown
No signal on the phone
No others around to guide
And support me
Just her, my constant irritant
Who seems to be indifferent
To my feelings my angst
Of being ensconced
In my car with this woman
Help me escape from this trap
Surely someone, anyone
Can lend me a map!


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