The Traps

Lesley doesn’t like the theme of today’s poem. However I am sure I am not alone in my dislike of using public WCs.

Am I alone? Apologies if it is just my warped view of the world!

The Trap

Is it me? 

Or am I the only one

Who doesn’t like to use 

A public WC?

It’s not the urinals I’m talking about

But the traps

Often full of crap

With toilet roll 

Damp and disgusting

Left there by the last

Inconsiderate chap


There’s no hook 

To hang up your coat

Need care to avoid

Your trousers

Being sodden being soiled

It freaks me out

To see someone’s feet

Peering from under

The neighbouring pew

All this after having to queue

Often left there hovering 

My bowels resisting 

Dumping in this tiny space

This hideous place

I’m struggling to start

Put off by the bloke 

Next door

Who emits 

A bloody enormous fart

Thank god I’m finished

Time to play hide and seek

With the thinnest

Toilet roll tightly rolled up

So no one gets any

Gets right in a strop

As I fiddle around

The dispenser not dispensing

My anger increasing

The bloke next door


As I vainly attempt

To do the necessary

Finally I’m done

Certainly no fun

A nightmare solution

To the daily excretion!


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