PE

Back in the day when not mollycoddled by the state you see

When everything was not governed by health and safety

There was a weekly school session of perilous PE

Not the warm and cuddly Joe Wicks kind you see on TV

The lesson started with the presentation of parents letters

Pleas to be excused plus a few absent minded kit forgetters

Who had to strip down to their vests pants or knickers

Black sand shoes worn; no trainers or sneakers 

In winter there loomed the dreaded cross country race

Ploughed fields, stinky bogs splatters of shit across the face

Unfit fatties, fags in pockets could only dream of keeping pace

Many couldn’t last the course so finishing at all was no disgrace

Parquet flooring covered in confusing lines

Wooden horses to twist and shatter spines

Thirty kids running around manically in close confines

Competitive crab football between two psyched up sides

Excitement knew no bounds when Pirates was the game

A contest of chase on ropes benches and the climbing frame

Heart beating fast, risky jumping, fall to the ground, what a shame. 

Risky spectacle, brimming with danger; surviving was the only aim. 

So this was old school physical education 

A belt or slipper to encourage participation

Enjoyed and endured by every kid in the nation

But winning at games was always the principal motivation.