Back in the day when not mollycoddled by the state you see
When everything was not governed by health and safety
There was a weekly school session of perilous PE
Not the warm and cuddly Joe Wicks kind you see on TV
The lesson started with the presentation of parents letters
Pleas to be excused plus a few absent minded kit forgetters
Who had to strip down to their vests pants or knickers
Black sand shoes worn; no trainers or sneakers
In winter there loomed the dreaded cross country race
Ploughed fields, stinky bogs splatters of shit across the face
Unfit fatties, fags in pockets could only dream of keeping pace
Many couldn’t last the course so finishing at all was no disgrace
Parquet flooring covered in confusing lines
Wooden horses to twist and shatter spines
Thirty kids running around manically in close confines
Competitive crab football between two psyched up sides
Excitement knew no bounds when Pirates was the game
A contest of chase on ropes benches and the climbing frame
Heart beating fast, risky jumping, fall to the ground, what a shame.
Risky spectacle, brimming with danger; surviving was the only aim.
So this was old school physical education
A belt or slipper to encourage participation
Enjoyed and endured by every kid in the nation
But winning at games was always the principal motivation.